I met a friend of mine of my childhood few days back, and got surprised seeing how she transformed into a serious woman from a bubbly ever smiling girl. Her dark spots under eyes, and stoned eyes waiting for someone made me ask her immediately, “What happened to you dear, where have you been and how different you are looking? Is everything fine with you or something wrong..”
I was full of so many questions and was impatient enough to wait for her replies. She just smiled and said lets sit and talk some where. We found a good restaurant nearby and sat there to chat. She was very composed but I was very eager to listen her. I remember how she would always speak relentlessly in childhood, and always made pranks on the girls in our class. We both were so closed and always shared everything, but its been a long time we met.
We were meeting after around 10 years, and had almost lost touch after our marriages. I had last met her in her marriage and were in touch for some time after that. But she got busy in her married life and I also shifted my focus to my life. She was always a working woman and wanted to earn or her own. She would always say that she does not want any other person to take the command of her life. How she often told me before marriage that she would not going to be depended upon her future husband for the money.
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My thoughts were travelling in the past, when suddenly she shook my hand as said, “Hey, what happened? What all you are thinking about?”. I said nothing, but she insisted again, and asked “What are doing now a days and how is your life going on?”. I told her how I am working in a media house and got shifted in the city last month only. I told her I have got promotion as a country head as recently shifted to the new office and a new home.
Now its her turn to tell about her jobs and personal life. She told how after marriage she got busy in handling her daily household chores along with job. Before marriage, she had freedom of job and could quit after any time but after marriage she did not have that freedom left. Her husband was not working that much that she could have the privilege of quitting jobs. I asked suddenly, why you are saying it privilege to which she replied, “Because if a woman does a job with her choice its a privilege, but if she does it out of her necessity then its a curse not a privilege.”
She has to balance her home and office as well, and most importantly office politics. She has to look after her kids and give them a good teaching but faces double minded people and negative back biting in offices. She is confused with the home and outside world. She thinks the teachings she is giving to her kids are of no use as when they grow up and face the world people behave differently.
She told how she got a recent job and even having years of experience has to feel humiliation in the office and feel inferior in front of the juniors. “I had always believed that hard work is the key to any success but here I am seeing that people do everything but hard work to get the success”. She wakes up early in the morning and prepares breakfast and lunch for the kids, send them to the schools, prepare food for the family, look after the family expenses, handle maids and all other things which need attention. At the same time she has to reach office on time and be active and sincere on all the work she works there.
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I relate her story with all the working women. We are working day and night but when someone asks us how you take care of your kids then we get speechless. People have a thinking that those moms who stay at home are proved as better moms compared to we working moms.
My friend told me how she teaches her kids in the evening when she is back at home and listens to them carefully. She told me that the children also understand that their mom is a working one and has double responsibilities of her home and office.
The society’s pressure, office politics, people’s talk and unasked advice on parent hood, family’s expectations, worsen the situation and cause depression in most of the women. We are forced to learn politics and show off our work in the name of smart work. As people think that doing less and showing more is the new trend in the companies which is actually a cheat and against my belief but if want to survive in the industry then have to learn that.
But how can one be happy with two faces: one face of love, serenity, purity at home and other of politics, double minded thoughts in office. How can one person behave in two different manners and if this is called progress, career and management then god save from all and and give the power to bear this.