9 Things Every Mother Should Tell to her Son

raise-a-son

A son is born, the family is complete. A son is not born the family is not complete.
A daughter is born, now try once more to get a son.

These are the statements we normally hear when a baby is born in some family. But no one bothers to the thoughts behind this thinking and what makes people to always think in the favour of a boy and do not consider the family complete till a boy is not born.

A boy is masculine and seen as a symbol of muscular power who can not cry or think softly or choose a profession which is meant for a girl by the society.

Only by giving birth to a boy does not make you to move away from your responsibility of raising him up with good values. In-fact it doubles your duty to give him good moral values and make him stand on his own and respect others in the society.

We are listing down few of the points to raise a son in the society:

1.You have emotions to cry out to vent your stress 

Ladkiyoun sa kyuon ro raha hai! (why you are crying like a girl?) . Why do we expect a male child to hide his feelings and emotions, after all he is a human being too. Feelings are not gender biased. Boys are expected not to show tears even in the time when they lose the most important thing of their life.

One side, we expect them to be sensitive towards other creatures in the society specially women and other side we are stopping them to vent out their feelings.

Even in these enlightened times, boys are often expected to stifle their tears and swallow their anger while girls are allowed more free rein with their emotions.

When you son is upset, let him express himself as long as he is not being destructive or completely out of control. And  once he has regained control over his emotions, you can talk to him about what he is feeling now and why?

Help him label his feelings whether it’s hurt, sad or angry.

Tell your son to cry aloud when ever he feels like rather than to hide his emotions.

2.As you have beard, girls have periods when they grow up 

Teach your son about Menstruation and Puberty. But before this you should also take some information how to present it to the kids. It is very difficult sometimes to explain things to your kids when you yourself not clear about the information.

Tell your sons about the growth of beard which is a symbol of their puberty. A girl’s puberty start earlier than boys and finishes before also at the same time.The main sex hormone in boys is testosterone which is responsible for change in their voice, beard growth, facial hair and muscle development.

Many times teenagers find it difficult to share with the changes happening in their body and thoughts during this phase of transformation which is not normal for them as this is happening for the first time with them. So try to give proper guidance to them and do not leave them alone as only you can become a true friend to your kids in the time when they need you the most.

Please tell your kids its normal to go thorough Puberty and be open with them.

3.Careers  are not gender biased 

There are few skills that are considered more masculine and few which are feminine. I remember around 15 years back when I joined an engineering college in Electrical engineering stream, people would make fun of mine for taking admission in boy’s fields. There were only few girls as compared to boys in Mechanical or Civil engineering as they were considered a man’s skill.

A child does not know anything about the skills and it’s only the parents who give him the first lesson of discrimination. So, as a parent we should teach our kids to choose a skill based on the interest and not on the gender based.

If designing, crafting and soft skills would have been for girls, Manish Malhotra, Rohit Bal and other top skilled designers would have never touched the niche of success in their career.

Skills chosen should be totally based on interest and not be gender biased.

4.Life skills are skills every one has to learn

Many parents don’t tell there sons to do household work.just remember that your this attitude shall make him lame in life. Tell him that household work is equally crucial for each and everyone, irrespective of gender to attain self discipline and self sufficiency. Some or other day your kid will have to leave his nest to build his own one. He shall need to go out for education or job.

5.Don’t be spineless

Spine helps in standing a person straight on his feet. Without spine a person cannot stand correctly and this is true in case of a spineless person. Here by spineless we mean those who do not stand by their words and thoughts. They can never take a stand for them and others connecting with them. Spineless people lose faith and trust and slowly people ignore them and take less seriously.

Many boys pretend to be trustworthy and very caring from outside but in reality they are the one who run away in the need of hour. This is very dangerous for others as in most of the cases we go by the face and swept away what appears to be externally.

So please teach your son to take stand for his own words at-least if he cannot stand for others.

6.Respect every woman 

Respect has to be earned. So if you are expecting respect, start giving it to others especially women and kids. Our society takes women for-granted as it believes her to always give and never expect anything in return. Please, do not give such teaching to your son and tell him to be sensitive to woman and give respect to her thoughts, acts and most importantly dreams.

You son will respect a woman only if you set-up a perfect example in front of him. Start giving respect to all the women, be a sister, daughter, mother or mother in law.

Never forget its a woman who has given him the birth. 

7.Don’t be just a man, try to be a gentle man 

A girl or a boy is not born by choice as it’s in God’s hand but to be a gentleman is in our own hand. Try to give such teaching to your son that he chooses to be a gentle man who behaves gently with others specially women and kids.

A Gentleman does not boast about being a man rather he behaves with compassion and respect others not only in the presence of everyone but also when he is alone.

Gentleness should be shown in not everyone’s presence but in the absence also.

8.Do not be shameful to share your burden

Society puts the burden of earning and running a family on to the shoulder of a man only. The responsibilities should be shared and earning should also be done by the girls also.

A man should provide full liberty to his wife to pursue her  dreams as well. Gone the days when girls were restricted to household chores and only boys were expected to earn.

Parents should learn that the boys also need a supporting hand and don’t put the feeling of earning always in his heart and mind always as he should also has life to enjoy.

9.Your in-laws are your responsibility too 

Tell your son, if he expects his wife to respect his parents, he too owe a responsibility for them. Parents are parents.

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